Friday, April 29, 2011

'The President's Vampire' by Christopher Farnsworth


I chose ‘Blood Oath’ as my #1 book for 2010, so you KNOW I couldn’t wait for this puppy to drop.  I was just sitting here flipping through it again and yeah... the bloody mayhem that made me an instant fan of ‘Blood Oath’ has carried over nicely to the sequel.  Chris can just flat out tell a story.  I heard Chris say once that he would love for this series to go on for at least ten books.  Well… it’s being set up for just that.  He continues the telling of Cade’s history and we also learn how politics can really and truly screw EVERYTHING!  Even the well laid plans of monsters and ghouls.  I said it before and I’ll say it again; please do not get turned off because this is “another vampire” book.  If you’re reading this review and have not yet experienced the gruesome brilliance of Chris Farnsworth, then you are about to add a new author (sorry Chris) to your list.

The story opens with Cade fighting Arabs in the desert and… what… really… Bin Laden!?!  But this isn’t your father’s Bin Laden… and Cade isn’t your father’s vampire.  Chris weaves a story of conspiracy theories (Liberty, Iowa.  Really?), government cover-ups, religious evil, carnage, massacre, and for good measure, a bit of sex and sexual tension.  In ‘The President’s Vampire’ Cade’s main nemesis are icky Lizard/snake hybrid… beings.  They have the fleshy appetite of starving Piranhas and the body odor of a Pampers diaper testing facility.  They’re so nasty they think the definition of nice is eating your left hand first!  That way you can use your right hand to hold in your lower intestine.

But as bad as they are, imagine the head case that created them.  Oh yes, with every evil thing birthed there’s a mother (choose YOUR spelling of that word) out there smiling.  While Cade is the Shaft of the series, it’s impossible to forget about Zach and Tania.  Tania… now that is one sexxxxxxy vampire chick!  Zach, after being blindsided into his position, has slowly started to feel at home.  No, not really.  Then again, if I was the professional assistant to an ancient bloodsucker or if I saw firsthand pure supernatural evil on a daily basis, I’d be sucking down a few Zyprexa energy drinks too.

Chris has blesses (cursed) us with another GREAT story!  Damn him for making me wait another year until the next one.

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